What I Tell Myself When I Don't Feel Good Enough
I'm not good enough. I'm never going to finish writing a book and get published. My thighs are a bit giggly. I wish my nose was smaller. What in the world am I doing with my life? I don't want to be the weird hippie chick. Geez.
The voice in my head is relentless, and it continuously tells me all the areas where I'm not good enough; my inner-critic is, to put it bluntly, a bitch.
But she's so convincing! It's so easy to listen to fearful thoughts when they come and accept them! Why yes, it appears as if I suck! I'm not spiritual enough, not fit enough, not talented enough! I might as well go cry in a lake!
This week, my self-talk hasn't been so loving, to put it lightly. This morning, I got fed up - fed up with the fear and criticism. I decided it was time to stop beating myself up. I decided that if God made me with these thighs and this hair, it wasn't a mistake; if God put the desire to write in me, then I must be well-equipped with enough talent to do so. It's not like God created a mountain and then thought, Gee, this mountain is a bit too rocky. Looks like I effed that one up!
We are here on purpose, with unique talents, appearances, and passions because all of life has been divinely orchestrated, down to the tiniest detail.
My nose is exactly the size it needs to be in order for me to fulfill my destiny; my thighs have just the right amount of jiggle; I'm writing exactly what I feel inspired to write, and I don't need to change a thing, regardless of the response I get from others.
I am perfect, and you are, too.
Where did we get this idea that we weren't? That we're not good enough? Not thin enough? Not talented enough? From our parents? Television? Magazines?
They're all wrong. And our inner-critic is wrong. I'm going to believe what God says about me: that I am. perfect, that I am an extension of the divine, that I am loved, loving, and lovable. I'm going to write it, speak it, and affirm it, until I actually believe it, until it's so rooted in my that my only thoughts are of how I can fulfill my dreams and how I'm truly worthy; not because the world says so, but because God says so. I'm a child of God, a child of the universe, and there's not a single thing that I need to change to feel good enough. I'm enough right now.