Why the Sudden Urge to Cut Your Hair, Get Tattoos & Redecorate? What to do When You're Addicted to Change.


Recently, I became obsessed with the idea that I needed a bigger couch. It's not even that I wanted a bigger couch, like it was a decision of whether I should spend the grand or not--take it or leave it; I had reached the decision, that even though I already had a couch that was perfectly acceptable, I needed an upgrade.

That same part of me - that same voice - has been telling me that I really do need to change my hair. I would be so much happier with lighter, maybe even shorter hair. It would be like the real me could emerge: with golden highlights and messy layers, like a surfer's dream girl (although I don't surf, and truth be told, I can't even swim).

In the past, that same itchiness - that craving for change - has emerged and has resulted in my getting spur-of-the-moment tattoos, leaving hair salons in tears, and making questionably large purchases at JC Penny (yes, J.C. Penney).

So what is that urge? That insatiable desire for change? That voice that tells us to up and quit or job? Or buy a new car (even though we don't have the money)? Or, to, all of a sudden become a redhead, even though we know we don't have the complexion to pull off being a ginger?

It's the part of us that is perpetually looking for things with which it can feel dissatisfied. 

It's the part of us that doesn't want to be happy.

It's the part of us that sounds more like a small child begging to eat  ice cream for breakfast and starts kicking and screaming when a bowl of oatmeal is placed on the table.

We can't listen to that part of us. We mustn't.

Instead, we have to become very aware of the energies within ourselves and how they manifest. We have to reflect. We have to ask ourselves: Where does this energy of discontentment, this desire for radical change tend to show up in my life? Does it show up in my relationships? With my family? My body? Do I have a sudden urge to change jobs? Exit relationships? End friendships? Buy new wardrobes? 

When we spot it - when we catch it by its tale - we watch it. We observe it.

Oh, hello dear itchy voice that comes up sometimes and tells me to change myself, my surroundings, and my life. Oh, you need to get that $400 hair treatment, or you won't be happy? Okay, darling. Let's just sit and meditate. Here's a cookie. We'll revisit the hair treatment idea next month. For now, let's just do nothing.

Here's the trick: We mustn't act out of that energy.

First, we become aware of it when it shows up in our lives (in its many incarnations).

Then, we say, like a parent, Well, that's nice, honey. And we keep going about our lives.

Maybe I will, eventually, change my hair. I like the idea of having fun with my physical appearance and playing with hair, makeup, and clothes; however, it will be from a light-hearted place, not from a heavy place that feels like an urge, a place of discontentment that causes me to make rash decisions I'll later regret, like a thirteen-year-old deciding that prom night is the exact time to have her best friend bleach her hair.

I send that part of me love. I just adore her impulsivity and her desire to take risks and explore the new. She's a sweetheart, an adventure! A grand companion. But she's not running the show anymore.