Why You're Sad When Good Things Happen


This past week, everything just fell into place. I got a job offer, accepted it, and within the span of a day and a half, my entire life shifted with regards to where I work, my commute, the people with whom I'm going to interact on a daily basis, and what my trajectory is concerning where I will live next year. 

I have been feeling this shift coming for the past year, and it took a lot of my consciously letting go of resistance (fear of change, feelings of unworthiness, etc.) for it to manifest. The funny thing is: Once I manifested this amazing new opportunity, I became present to an undercurrent of sadness that I couldn't identify. I've felt it before (and I'm sure you have, too).

You meet your dream partner, or you move to the exact place you've always wanted to live, and while you experience the rush and giddiness of the manifestation, you also feel the pull of melancholia. Why is that?

Here's the truth: In order for a major life change to occur (meeting a new partner, getting a job, moving, etc.), you have to be willing to not only let go of whatever internal and energetic blocks you have in the way (insecurities, thoughts that say it's impossible, or it's too hard), and you need to be willing to embody the vibration of that which you want to manifest (I will explain this in a moment). This letting go process and stepping into a higher-vibrating version of yourself (the version of you that's confident, willing to be loved, successful, and abundant) can bring about a feeling of sadness, as you are, quite literally, shifting your vibration and letting go of negative unconscious patterning.

Here's an example: Imagine Sarah, a woman who's been insecure her whole life. She's had a series of not-so-good relationships, and, at the age of thirty-five, she's come to believe that she'll never find love (notice the use of hyperbolic language, this indicates a huge limiting belief). In order to manifest a partner, she'll need to do several things: let go of all of her beliefs (unconscious and conscious) as to why she's not good enough, as well as why it's hard to find love; she'll also need to embody the energy of someone who is confident and worthy of love (shifting from an energy of desperation and seeking to one of feeling valuable and having/being more than enough); and further, she'll have to let go of her victimhood mindset, as often, the world teaches us that life is happening to us, rather than for us. 

These changes may occur over the course of a year, as she reads books, develops a mindfulness practice such as meditation, and begins to recite affirmations every day. As her vibration begins to shift and she grows more confident, she'll find that she's inspired to take real-world action, such as buying some beautiful clothes to wear on dates, or creating more space in her apartment for a future partner. When she fully embodies the energy of someone with confidence and has let go of her old story of loneliness and unworthiness, she will manifest her partner. When he shows up, she will find that not only her romantic life has transformed, but so has she. She'll walk around her apartment and not recognize it; she'll look in the mirror and feel beautiful; she'll be encouraging towards her single friends, speaking to them in a supportive manner, rather than reaffirming their stories of lack and loneliness. And then, just as her new partner has showed up to her gorgeous apartment with roses, she may feel a tinge of sadness. 

Why? She has to say goodbye to the old version of herself.

In order to manifest positive changes, you must let go of old programming, feelings of unworthiness, and fear. You must be willing to let go of your victim mindset and be brave: apply for that job, go on the date, and make the move, even when you're feeling shaky. You must step into the braver, more confident version of yourself, and you cannot go back to your old ways of thinking and behaving. Oftentimes, there is a period of adjustment, as you shift from fear to bravery, or insecurity to confidence, when the energy is still normalizing, meaning, you were willing to be confident on the first three dates, but as you are about to go on date four, you feel the old you wanting to think insecure thoughts, telling you that this is just a fluke, and none of it's going to last.

You have to be willing to say goodbye to the old version of yourself. 

The good news is: All of the cosmos wants to help you. At the moment, we are in the middle of a storm of eclipses. Astrologically, the Universe is begging you to let go of what's been holding you back. It's supporting your next steps and encouraging you to make higher-vibrating choices and embody new energies that may be unfamiliar to you. It wants you to be braver, more confident, more open, and loving. As you go through major periods of change and manifest wonderful people, places, and opportunities in your life, you may feel a tinge of sadness, but that's only because you're letting go of your old story; you're saying goodbye to the version of yourself who wasn't ready to receive the love, opportunities, or connections that you have just manifested. It's okay to feel a bit melancholy as you let go of the old and step into the new.

The key is to be willing to receive good things, while also being willing to let go of whatever was holding you back in the past. As you continue on your spiritual and mindfulness journey, you will step into newer versions of yourself that you would never have imagined. I can't believe that I am running the company now! Or speaking in front of all of these people! Or getting married! As you transform your inner-world, your outer-world will shift, and it's beautiful. It can happen with ease and grace, even as you learn how to say goodbye and let go.