10 Questions Every 20-Something Should Ask Them Self

I’ve read so many articles entitled Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger, or Lessons I’d Tell My Younger Self, which can serve as a beautiful retrospection for the writer, but that doesn’t necessarily help the reader to live a better life. Each individual needs to commit to his own heroic journey, and if you want to manifest a life that you love, stop looking for somebody to tell you the answers, and start asking the right questions. Here are 10 that can help you to avoid the mistakes most people make and quicken your awakening.

1)Why do I want to pursue this career?

It’s all too easy to chose a sensible major in order to please your parents, and if you’re not conscious, that can quickly turn into a career that will leave you feeling dissatisfied and lacking inspiration. If you’re overly concerned with pleasing your parents, or being a success, as society would define it, then you fall into the trap of wasting your entire life chasing after money, reputation, or approval. Part of becoming an adult means learning how to make yourself happy and being okay with the fact that your mom might not like your desire to open an online business, go back to school, or pursue a degree as a writer, but if your spirit nudges you to do so, you are willing to follow its directives.

2)What beliefs about money did I pick up from my parents?

You picked up beliefs about money from your parents. It’s just a matter of figuring out what they were so they don’t unconsciously dictate how much money you can make now that you’re on your own. You see, if your parents had limiting beliefs, such as Money doesn’t grow on trees; Pay for whatever you can’t afford on credit; or Struggle is part of life, then watching their behaviors, and listening to their conversations influenced your beliefs on a subconscious level. Reflect on what you learned about money from your parents, so that you can make better choices and choose beliefs that are in alignment with abundance.

3)How vulnerable am I willing to be in love?

Before you know it, you’re going to be thirty, and then forty. Don’t wait to figure out if you have blocks in your romantic life. Most people have experienced trauma, or have witnessed dysfunctional relationships growing up. Your mind has internalized these experiences, and worse still, has developed neural pathways that tell you that love will hurt, or you’re not worthy of being loved. If you want to be in an emotionally mature relationship, don’t wait until you’ve had a handful of crummy partners to figure out that you have blocks to receiving love. Reflect on whether you have an open heart and if you’re truly willing to be vulnerable, because that is the sole factor that will determine if you will manifest a loving relationship.

4)What are my spiritual beliefs? Where did I get them from?

Most people don’t believe in anything beyond the physical world, because of how they were raised. However, spirituality is about opening up to connecting to the divine. It’s experiential, meaning, it’s not something you can come to using reason or logic. Rather, it’s something that you open up to, usually through mediation, or prayer. When people tell me that they haven’t had any spiritual experiences, I ask if they have actually tried to open up to the divine.

Here’s the key: Spirituality has nothing to do with the mind. What you, or your parents believed, is irrelevant. You can experience transcendence or revelation when you open up to it. It’s as simple as that. 

5)What sort of person do I want to be?


Most people consider what they want to accomplish, but they fail to ask themselves the sort of person they want to be. Do you want to go out of your way to help others? Do you value patience? Do you think it’s important to have a spiritual life? Do you want to be bolder? If you don’t stop to figure out what qualities you want to cultivate in yourself, you’ll wind up becoming someone accidentally, without consciously direction. 

This is the definition of a mid-life crisis: You wake up one day, and you don’t even know who you are, because you never had a vision of who you wanted to become. 

6)Who are my role models?

It would serve you to figure out not only what qualities you value, but who exemplifies those qualities. Find people who you can look up to, and when you’re unsure about a decision, or you need clarity on the next step to take, ask yourself: What would my role model do? 

7)How can I step out of my comfort zone?

You are going to be old before you know it. Get in the habit of stepping out of your comfort zone. You’re young! Take a chance! If you want to move to another country, pursue your passion, or learn a new language, do it. Now’s the time. The more you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone when you’re young, the greater the chances that you’ll live an amazing life, because you won’t be driven by fear.

8)Do I really love myself?


Most people walk around with an inner-critic that sounds like this: You need to lose weight. You need a new hairstyle. You’re not smart enough to apply for that position. You’ll never get out of this neighborhood. You could never learn a new language, or start your own business. Self-hatred has become the norm. If you don’t love yourself, you will unconsciously chose partners who won’t value you. You’ll never take a risk in your career. You’ll never pursue your dreams. Why? You don’t feel good enough. If you don’t love yourself (and you probably don’t), commit to the journey of self-love. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming, or hard. Read Self Love is Simpler Than You Think.

9)Where am I stuck?

If you feel stuck, it’s not Life’s fault, it’s yours. Take radical responsibility for your life, and figure out which areas you can actively change. Where does it seem like you’re going upstream, or fighting the current? School? Work? Relationships? Health? Figure out where you’re stuck, and commit to doing the inner-work to get the energy flowing. Declare that you will do whatever it takes to break negative patterns and shift the energy. Do it while you’re young. Do it now.

10)What makes me happy, REALLY?

The world will tell you that if only you had more money, a nicer place to live, and more possessions, then you’d be happy. The world will suggest that if you had a great career, a handsome spouse with a good sense of humor, and an organic garden, then, finally, you’d have really made it! You’d be so happy! Well, how many successful people with beautiful homes, kids, and glossy-coated labrador retrievers don’t know how to enjoy life? I bet it’s much less than you think. Here’s the key: The “perfect” job, or spouse isn’t going to make you happy, and it’s your responsibility to find out what will. What fills your heart with joy? Is it creating beautiful things? Spending time outdoors? Traveling? Cooking? Living with animals? Reflect on what would really make you happy, opposed to what’s supposed to make you happy. Then, believe that you deserve to be happy, and make it a priority to do those things.



Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve been on the spiritual path for 15 years, and this blog is where I share hacks, lessons I’ve learned & mindful dating advice. I believe you can be spiritual and a badass.