How to Release Resistance
If you’re on a spiritual path, then you’ve realized that a lot of the frustration and stress you feel on a daily basis is a result of your resisting the present moment. Think about it: It’s raining out. The meeting was rescheduled. There’s traffic. Your partner didn’t do the dishes. Your friend sent you a passive aggressive text. Your mind responds with: I don’t want it to rain. I was prepared to present today! I need to get home. This person is driving so slow! My partner should be tidier! You’re upset because your mind refuses to accept, well, Life. I say Life with a capital L, because Life has a way of figuring things out on its own; it has its own agenda, and it doesn’t care whether you wanted to make it home to catch your favorite television show, or if you planned a picnic on a rainy day.
So, what’ I’m saying is - Life happens. All of the frustration, stress, and anger that you feel is because your mind told you that it should’ve happened differently.
So, if you want to feel more peaceful, and if you want to have a life filled with ease and grace, then you better learn how to lessen your resistance to Life by accepting the present moment. Here are the four steps you want to follow:
Step 1: Allow the present moment.
There are some really mean people out there. They’ll curse you out in traffic, lie to your face, and insult you. Worse still, Life isn’t fair (at least not Life with a capital L). The less qualified person is going to get the promotion. You might get sick. Your partner might get fired, or face financial struggle. He wants a divorce, but you don’t. Who told you that Life was fair, or that people were “supposed” to be nice? This is what kindergartners believe, that the brownies should be divided evenly, even though little Johnny weights 150 pounds and Sue weighs 60; they say their brother gets to stay up till 10 p.m., and so they should as well. They argue with their parents and teachers.
This is what your mind does with God: It throws a tantrum. It thinks Life is about tit-for-tat, or worse, what’s “fair.” Do yourself a favor today: Erase the word “fair” from your vocabulary.
Choose to allow whatever shitty moment Life has put you in. So what your car broke down? So what you got in an accident? So what your teenage son screamed at you and stormed out of the house? I’m not suggesting that you celebrate these events, but rather, that you accept them. It’s quite possible that your son is an asshole, or that you have so much debt that you can’t sleep at night, and that’s okay. Allow Life to suck sometimes. Lighten your response by thinking: Well, this cost is unexpected. I have some fearful thoughts coming up in me, and I’m going to choose to allow this debt. I’m no longer going to beat myself up for accruing it, or stress over it every minute of the day.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t try to get a better job, or create a budget to save money. You can take action from a place of allowance, accepting the situation while working towards changing it.
Step 2: Stop talking about negative situations.
Admit it: You habitually complain. Someone drives like a lunatic on the highway, and when you get home, the first thing you do is tell your partner about it. Why not let the moment go? Why bring the frustration home with you? Does sharing the story bring you any justice? Does it make that person a better driver? No! All it does is extend the amount of time that you feel frustrated. If you want to lessen your resistance, stop talking about negative experiences, or at the very least, don’t spend as much time talking about them. Instead, talk about what you’re excited about in life: new skills you’re hoping to learn, places you’d like to travel, and people you love. Share love, not frustration, and watch how your life will mirror back that love.
Step 3: Bury your head in the sand.
You get to choose what you focus on. If you live in a home that you don’t love, you can focus on the broken dishwasher, the too small closets, and the grimy carpets, or you can focus on how much light comes through your kitchen windows. Whatever you focus on will increase. This is Law of Attraction 101. I’m sure you could write a long list about all of the people, places, and situations you wish were different. I’m sure you want a better job, a thinner body, and a nicer place (don’t we all?). But stop looking at what’s not working in your life! If you hate your job, spend more time thinking about how awesome your mom is, or the fact that your partner tries to make you laugh at the end of the day. If you want to lessen your resistance, bury your head in the sand. Some constantly focusing on what’s negative and be willing to admit that there are pockets of light in your life as well. Decide that you’re ready to wipe the dirt from your lens and perceive the love and beauty that is in your life.
Step 4: Connect to Love.
Make it a daily practice to connect to the divine. You can do this through meditation, prayer, or walking out in nature, just to name a few practices. Whatever you choose, make it a priority to connect to your spirit every day. Take time away from screens, away from errands, goals, and the busyness of everyday life, and choose to tune into the still, small voice inside to see what wisdom it has for you.
Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve been on the spiritual path for 15 years, and this blog is where I share hacks, lessons I’ve learned & mindful dating advice. I believe you can be spiritual and a badass. I believe you can live boldly, pursue your passions, & love fully. If you’d like to work with me, send me a message.