SURRENDER is one of my favorite words. For most people, it connotes giving up, throwing in the towel, and a weakness of character that would merit shame or guilt. When I think of surrender, I feel a great sense of ease wash over me; surrender connotes letting go of the illusion of control, allowing the universe to have its way with me, and knowing that all is well, because all has always been well, and all will always be well. Total surrender means I have faith in God. It means I can trust that the source that created me, the mountains, and the clouds in the sky, is orchestrating every aspect of my life perfectly. The sun rises and sets; the planets spin in motion; and whatever infinite power makes those things happen, also keeps my heart beating and is guiding me on this journey.
Sometimes I forget to surrender, or at least, to surrender EVERYTHING. I have surrendered the "big" things in my life: relationships, the future, who I meet, etc. It is important to also surrender day-to-day things, to give every bit of it away to God. When I feel any emotion that stems from fear arise, first, I consciously acknowledge that I am creating it. My thought goes something like this: "Interesting, look at that. I am feeling a fear of ............. Hmmm. Interesting point of view." The next step is to SURRENDER it. Surrender the fear. Surrender the guilt Surrender the insanity.
Just today, I felt anger arise within me. I was hacking away at the ice on my windshield and shoveling out my car after a snow storm, and I felt anger because of a situation at work. The anger stemmed from feeling unappreciated (how very egoic of me, I know); and then other things that I felt angry about flooded my consciousness because that's how momentum/law of attraction works. First, I'm angry about my job, then, I'm listing out all of my grievances in alphabetical order. I gave up shoveling out my car, came home, and put on a video of one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Earl Purdy, who reminded me about the act of SURRENDER.
AHHHHHHHH, YES. That is IT. Yes, I am choosing my situation at work. I am eliciting from people how they treat me, and I am choosing to participate in a bureaucratic system; I am creating every bit of my own reality, and it's not just enough to acknowledge that I am the creator of this dream, I must also SURRENDER it.
So, here's my prayer: I am choosing this............. I am creating............ for myself. AND I surrender it up to the Holy spirit, all of it: my emotions towards it, my perspective of it, and the entire situation itself. However you will have me serve, Holy Spirit, I am open and willing to follow your guidance. I surrender EVERYTHING to you, and I am choosing love. I am choosing peace. Let thy will be done.
Or, to keep things easy: I surrender. I surrender. I surrender. I surrender!
When you can do nothing else, surrender.
The practice works in every situation, and it works for every person. It doesn't matter if you're religous, spiritual, man woman, or horse. A few years ago, I worked with a woman, Maryann, who was one of the most beautiful souls I'd ever met. She always wore a smile, and she is one of the warmest people I've ever met. It was impossible to be in a foul mood or complain around Maryann. Once, we sat next to each other on a long bus ride to Connecticut (it was a class trip to the aquarium). We started talking about God and faith. I knew Maryann believed in God, and I was so curious about her perspective because I knew her beliefs shaped her consciousness, and I am interested in nothing more in life than shifting my consciousness. Also, I wondered about Maryanne's beliefs because she had a son who was addicted to drugs, and she had gone through some other hardships in her life, and still managed to be so positive and loving. That's when Maryanne told me that she had a prayer box, in which she submitted all of her worries to God every morning, and, essentially, turned them over for good. "Once they're in my God box," she said, smacking her hands together like she was saying good riddance, "they're his for good. I don't think about them anymore. That's why I'm so peaceful. Once I give my worries to God, I don't have to think about them anymore."
I told Maryanne that I had a God vase, and in addition to prayers, I wrote God all of my secret dreams and wishes, and then I let them go.
Let thy will be done.
Today, especially, I will remember to surrender EVERYTHING to God: every moment, every person, every grievance, all of it. I surrender everything I am, every thought I think, and every judgment I have. I am creating my life, and I am also surrendering it. God, it's yours. ALL of it.