Falling in love is like walking through a fire. It hurts a little bit. It is something that has to be withstood; it requires tremendous courage.
When you begin to fall in love, to join, everything unlike love rises to the surface for the purpose of transmutation. A great spiritual teacher, Earl Purdy, compares it to a glass with dirt at the bottom being filled with water. As you keep pouring in water, the dirt rises to the surface. This is terrifying; you think, Oh my goodness, look at all of this dirt! And you want to run away because, somehow, it is the other person's fault for bringing up all of this dirt. You might even feel more free if you do run, because the dirt will settle to the bottom again. You won't have to look at it. And most people don't like to look. However, if you wait, if you sit patiently and keep pouring in water, the dirt will spill over and the water will clear, but you will feel very uncomfortable in the meantime.
The purpose of the ego is to convince you that you're separate, that we are not all one, of one mind, that this illusion of separation is, in fact, real. When you begin to fall in love, when you start to slip into that place where you are joining with another, your ego puts up a fight. Your ego gives you every reason imaginable why you should not join with him or her, and each one of them makes sense.
A common fear is that joining with another will take away your freedom. Also, it will lessen you in some way. You will be half of the person you were because you will have to compromise for the purpose of another; you will have to tend to another. Your ego will tell you that this is true.
If we're talking about REAL metaphysical truths here, the truth is: LOVE MULTIPLIES. Love makes you more. When you give yourself over to another, when you choose to join, you become more powerful, more aligned, closer to God; real love (not egoic) love, real unconditional love makes your life BETTER. It gives you more freedom, more power, and a greater sense of connection.
And when someone holds the vision of you as powerful, beautiful, and spectacular, you RISE to that vision. Their holding that vision of you is serving you in ways beyond compare. What it's doing is two-fold: 1)They're projecting that judgment of you, which in turn, creates, because judgment creates reality, and 2)They're reflecting back to you your best, highest self, which, often, you don't see. Often, you diminish your greatness. When someone sees the greatness in you, your life will begin to reflect back the greatness they see in you, as it opens up a crack for you to recognize it.
So what am I really saying?
Your ego will want to run. Your ego will feel like you are losing limbs the more you connect with another. Your ego will tell you that you will be less instead of MORE. In actuality, you will manifest more, feel more joy, and be more in alignment, the more you join. BECAUSE LOVE MULTIPLIES.