Only Do What Feels Fun (No Matter What)
Last night, I was invited to a friend's house for dinner; it was a casual invitation on Sunday, and it should have felt light and easy breezy, but it didn't. The thought of it made my body ache. Saying yes to the invitation would've involved a decent amount of time driving (after shoveling out my car), dealing with finding a parking spot late at night, and spending time with someone, who, I believe, wasn't ready to spend time with me.
Part of me wanted to push myself to go, as I know my showing up would've made my partner happy, but another part of me dreaded the thought of schlepping out in the cold, in some lame attempt to appease my partner. All I really wanted to do was shovel out my car, go back home, and watch reruns of The Great British Baking Show.
So what was I to do? I meditated, and after a good amount of quiet time, this is what I finally came up with: Only do what feels fun; but not just regarding this invitation, in life, in general. Whenever there is a decision of what to do, whenever a choice is posed, only do what feels fun.
Seems so simple, right? Almost too simple. Your mind is probably suggesting to you right now that this is no grand breakthrough. But think about it: How many times do you go places, meet people, and say yes out of obligation, or out of fear that your saying no will hurt someone’s feelings. I would venture to say that MOST of the time, we are more inclined to plan our lives around the desire to please others, rather than to make ourselves happy. We follow our fears before we follow our bliss.
I’m not suggesting that you decide, on a Monday morning, that work isn’t fun, and instead, choose to stay in bed and eat tacos, thus jeopardizing your employment, but rather, that you respect your time and value what you truly want over the desires of your partner, parents, or friends.
I know people who have made it a lifelong commitment to pleasing others, and the worst part is, they either resent the people they love as a result, or they become so accustomed to living for others that they never actually stop to ask themselves: What do I want? Do I really want to drive an hour and twenty minutes to pay for overpriced mimosas and engage in conversation with people whom I don’t even enjoy being around? Or, would it feel better to take a yoga class, do laundry, and cook lasagna?
Every single day, you have to ask yourself: What do I want? What does my heart desire? And you have to honor whatever response arises within you. Outside of the bare necessities of what you absolutely feel that you have to do, only do what will contribute to your ease, bliss, and well-being. Only choose to spend time with people who support and love you; only go places that you enjoy; only watch movies that make you feel happy. Leave the rest out, like a child deciding he’s opting out of having broccoli for dinner. Just push it off your plate. Nope, not for me! I’m only doing what feels fun!
What if that was your life motto, to follow the fun? To follow it fearlessly and hungrily? To base your choices what will bring you the most joy and completely disregard the opinions of others no matter what? To live your authentic truth, act out of your heart center, and follow your bliss? How would that transform your life? How would that transform you?