How to Deal with Rejection


There are so many people and so many ways we can get rejected: We can get shot down by our partner, be told no by a higher-up in our career, or have our families snub their noses at us. In each of these scenarios, we immediately equate the rejection, the no with our lack of self-worth. Right away, our thoughts go to: I'm not pretty enough, not talented enough, not fill-in-the-blank enough.

Last week, I e-mailed an online mindfulness magazine about an article I had revised and resubmitted, as I didn't hear back from the editor. I thought it was a mix up, an accident, something about my article being sent to the spam folder, however, the response from the editor was that if I didn't hear back, it meant my article wasn't a good fit. My mind jumped to the most extreme thoughts: I'm a terrible writer. I'm wasting my time writing. What am I even doing with my life? I'm wasting my time.

This was followed by a litany of similar-sounding thoughts that filled my mind for the next few days. 

I'm just not good enough.

Ouch. It hurts to even write it. So what do I do? My mind is telling me that I'm a sucky writer (yours might tell you that you'll always be single, or you'll never find a new job, or get a loan to start that business).

Step 1: Recognize that just because you've been rejected doesn't mean you suck. 

Check out this list of 20 brilliant people who were rejected a ton before finding any success. Gone with the Wind was rejected 38 times before being published.

Step 2: Reprogram your subconscious mind.

When you think you're not good enough, the world will reflect back your own feelings of unworthiness. The key is to flip your rejection and affirm its opposite.

Turned down for a date? 

New Mantra: I am a magnet for love and romance.

Article not published by lame online magazine?

New Mantra: I am a talented writer. I have a lot to share. The universe is lining up the right people and opportunities for me.

Step 3: Don't give up.

It's so easy to agree with rejection, to accept it, and to stop chasing our dreams; but if we do that, what would be the point of living? Why else would we exist, if not to dream of something that sounds fun and watch it come to life. We are powerful creators; we are here to create; we are here to expand. We must use rejection to fuel or desire for success and not let it stop us from fulfilling our full potential and being who we are meant to be.

Step 4: Meditate on what it will feel like when it's already happened.

Rejected by a romantic partner? Sit and feel the sensations of being in a loving, healthy relationship. Rejected by a potential client? Sit and feel the emotions of having just signed ten new clients and closed five deals. Visualize it happening. Don't focus on reality, as what you're currently calling into your life is a reflection of what your old vibration, and instead, focus on the new vibration that you're cultivating. 

Mindful LivingJessica Leon