Your Breakthrough Will Not be Comfortable

Self-actualization is a painful process. While most people talk about awakening and stepping out of fearful, egoic-driven living to loving, spirit-centered living, as this beautiful transformation that comes like a gentle breeze, the actual truth is that not only will your breakthrough not be comfortable, it will hurt like hell.

We’ve all heard that it’s always darkest before the dawn, and while it sounds like something that could be printed on a bumper sticker, or a mug sold at T.J. Maxx, there’s no better way of describing exactly what will occur as you are stepping into new stages of life and evolving. Right before you manifest a new relationship, a job, or a major life move, you will experience darkness, or in other words, confusion, chaos, and a range of emotions spanning from despair to the ecstasy that comes with blind faith.

Right before your breakthrough, you will feel a little crazy.

If you want to manifest, be sure to check out    The Key: Shifting from Possible to Probable.

If you want to manifest, be sure to check out The Key: Shifting from Possible to Probable.

Consider how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. First, it has to hibernate and prepare in the safety of its cocoon. Its transformation is no immediate, but rather, it requires patience as it goes through physical changes. I don’t imagine it’s comfortable, and eventually, the butterfly has to emerge from the comfort of its cocoon and fly, but that is the process - it’s not easy, but it works.

Any sort of transformation will require the expansion of your consciousness, meaning, you will come to recognize all the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that are rooted in ego, or fear, and as a result, you will feel disoriented, lost, or sad. Right before you manifest a relationship, it will occur to you that, deep down, you hate yourself, and before you can release the weight of that self-hatred, you will have to really feel it one last time. Before you manifest a job, all of the ways you’ve been slacking or taking shortcuts will become clear, and you will feel like it’s impossible for you to gather the credentials, experience, and skills necessary to manifest the position (and you will), but first, you have to recognize all of the ways you’ve stopped yourself in the past.

Right before manifesting, all of your fears rise to the surface. Past traumas might resurfaces, as well as memories, grievances, and fears. You will become aware of all of the ways you have been blocking your next step, and once you become aware, you can release those blocks. A Course in Miracles calls this right-mindedness, or a shift in perception from fear to love. It defines your release of fear and alignment with love as a miracle. 

Your breakthrough is a miracle, and it can come quickly, or slowly, but it will always feel a little uncomfortable as it is occurring.


Once, I had a spiritual teacher who likened the process of expanding one’s consciousness to the act of pouring water in a glass with dirt at the bottom. Before you committed to your personal and spiritual growth, you were unaware of all of the dirt you held in your subconscious (fears, grievances, lack of self-worth, etc.), but as you began to pour in the water (meditating, studying spiritual texts, repeating affirmations, etc.), the dirt began to rise to the surface.

Your mind might try to convince you that you want to push the dirt back down to the bottom of the glass, because it felt more comfortable when you didn’t know it was there, and you don’t like the way it feels to be aware of all of the dirt, however, if you just keep pouring in the water, eventually, the dirt will be washed out of the glass entirely. Seeing the dirt can cause a lot of disorientation and chaos within your psyched, but it’s simply the process of your subconscious fears becoming conscious. You’re waking up.

When you commit to the cleansing process that is inherent in any breakthrough, know that after the discomfort and pain, you will feel a great sense of release and lightness. Once you’ve sat with the sadness or confusion, while still committing to your spiritual practice, your fears will be released, and you will become more confident and aligned with the energy of the desire your manifesting. After the darkness, dawn comes, and all you are left with is an overwhelming feeling of freedom and expansion. So, if you’re in the process of becoming a butterfly, hold tight and stick with your spiritual practice. You’re moments away from your breakthrough. Soon, you’ll experience the light that comes with aligning with your Spirit, and you’ll be grateful for the process.



Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve written about mindful dating, spiritual partnership & awakening for Elephant Journal & Thought Catalog. I’m also a featured blogger on the dating site YourTango. I can help you remove your blocks to love, heal your relationship, or become more confident. Set up a 1-hour coaching session (more about that here).