4 Lessons I’ve Learned from Gary Zukav About Spiritual Partnership


According to Gary Zukav, renowned spiritual teacher and author of Spiritual Partnership: The Journey to Authentic Power, a canonical book that was released in 2010, and which has laid the groundwork for the new paradigm of dating and relationships, a spiritual partnership is one in which two equals come together for the purpose of spiritual growth. Initially, I learned about spiritual partnership from the book A Course in Miracles, which refers to the same idea as a holy relationship, when I met my spiritual partner Tim . My relationship with Tim has been unlike any other, as we are both committed to our spiritual journeys, and also, coming together has caused a quickening of our awakening, as well as drastic shifts in both of our lives.

I’ve grown so much being with Tim the past few years, and I’ve learned so much about how to respond to issues as they arise in a spiritual partnership, because of Gary Zukav’s teachings. So, without further adieu, here are the top four lessons I’ve learned about spiritual partnership from the inimitable Zukav:

#1 Just being around your spiritual partner will trigger the fearful parts of your personality.

Think of spiritual partnership as a massive cleansing of your ego, or your personality self. While the real you is loving, harmonious, and joyful, you also have parts of your personality that are grounded in fear; maybe there’s a part of you that’s insecure, jealous, or afraid of being abandoned. When you meet your spiritual partner, their mere presence will trigger these frightened parts of your personality. Why? Because the sole purpose of spiritual partnership is to become conscious of these fearful parts and heal them.

Everyone has deep-rooted fears as a result of childhood, trauma, and painful relationships from the past. While it’s easy to want to forget the past, oftentimes, people bury their pain and unconsciously operate out of that pain. This results in pushing away loving partners, or running from commitment. When you get around your spiritual partner, those fears will be brought to the surface. Being around Tim has caused me to look at the parts of my personality that don’t want to communicate, that want to withhold love, and that want to Focus on the negative. I have learned that it’s okay for these fears to arise, what matters is how I respond when they do.

#2 Challenge the fearful parts of your personality in the moment they surface.

Now that we’ve gone over the fact that your spiritual partner is a walking trigger for your fears, how do you handle it when It happens? Here’s the key: You must choose, in that moment, to respond differently. Instead of withdrawing, you must communicate. Instead of getting angry and yelling, you must take a breath and communicate calmly. With the help of your spiritual partner, you can break negative patterns. You can heal the fearful parts of your personality. You must trust the process.

Here’s the wonderful news: Every time you make a new choice and step out of your pattern, you deepen the connection you have with your partner.

Each time that I want to withdraw and not communicate how I feel, but I choose to speak up and share my feelings, I feel closer to Tim. Every time I break a pattern, it not only makes our relationship stronger, but it also leads to self-transformation. It can feel hard, but it’s worth it, because it leads to my spiritual growth and it lays the foundation for an emotionally healthy relationship. Rather than operating out of negative patterns and programming, I can consciously decide how I want to show up for my partner.

If you’re not sure what your negative patterns are, or if you want to know more about how you might be sabotaging your relationship, be sure to read 5 Things You Do Unconsciously That Ruin Your Relationship.

#3 Real power comes from aligning with spirit.

In the old relationship paradigm, power is derived from playing games, manipulating, and controlling the other person. In the new paradigm, real power comes form alignment with Spirit. It is derived from love, generosity, harmony, and community. It comes as a result of being vulnerable, opening up, and listening to your intuition.

I’ve learned that Tim doesn’t love me because my hair always looks perfect, because I play hard to get, or I behave in a way that is manipulative. Rather, our relationship is strong, because we are both focused on alignment. We both have committed spiritual practices, and when issues arise, we look at how we contributed to the situation, rather than accusing each other, placing blame, or shutting down. I’ve learned that the more aligned I am, which simply means, the more loving, receptive, and positive I am, the closer I feel to Tim. When I have a hard day, or feel grumpy, it negatively affects our relationship. Real power comes from aligning with my Spirit, both when it comes to my relationship, and also, when it comes to all of the other parts of my life.

#4 We are in a time of awakening.

People everywhere are waking up. Mindfulness has become a buzzword, and it’s become, dare I say, cool, to possess emotional intelligence and even talk about it with other people. As we continue to evolve as a species and become more conscious, our relationships will follow suit. It no longer serves us to partner up with someone merely to have kids, buy a house, and nag each other till death due us part. No, it is time to form connections based on spiritual growth, as that is the foundation for cultivating a life of joy.

As we awaken, every part of our lives will be transformed. We’ll come to look at work, relationships, and the world, differently. As we become more conscious and loving, our relationships will reflect that shift. We will learn to become more vulnerable, share, open up, receiving, and communicate in a loving way. We will release negative patterns, heal trauma, and step into our Highest Selves. We will cultivate what Zukav refers to as authentic power - power that comes from alignment with our Spirit, and from that alignment, we will create a life that is more beautiful than we could’ve ever imagined.



Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve been on the spiritual path for 15 years, and this blog is where I share hacks, lessons I’ve learned & mindful dating advice. If you’d like to set up a session to come up with spiritual solutions to every area of your life, send me a message.