How to Know if You Should BreakUp

If you’re in a relationship and you’re dissatisfied, constantly wondering if you could find someone better, someone who really gets you, someone who doesn’t do the long list of things your partner does that annoys you, how do you know if it’s time to breakup? On one hand, you don’t want to give up on a relationship too early, especially because it’s natural to have disagreements and issues arise that need to be communicated and work through. On the other hand, you don’t want to stay with someone for months, or even years longer than you should, when there’s little chance of resuscitating the relationship.

The good news is you can approach decisions that you have to make in your dating life with the same mindfulness and self-awareness you bring to every area of your life, and that is to say that you turn to your intuitive guidance, which is constantly giving you directions, messages, and leading you to the path of least resistance.

Instead of trying to “figure it out,” asking friends or family, or making a list of pro’s and con’s (that’s not the sort of approach to take with matters of the heart, or any matters, really), you need to tune in to the voice of your spirit. You see, there’s a part of you that is infinitely wiser than your logical mind. It knows where you’re headed, and it knows how to get you there.

So, how do you do it? How do you tap into the infinite wisdom of your spirit so that you can be confident in your decision to stay or leave?

It all comes down to one question that you want to ask your intuitive guidance.

Is it braver to stay, or braver to leave?

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You see, your ego (the never-ending stream of thoughts in your mind that form your “personality” and which you take to be the essence of “you”) makes decisions out of fear and does a great job of justifying them. Whereas your spirit, which communicates to you through your heart; it’s also that light, buzzy feeling you get when you receive an A-HA moment, or get a genius idea. Ideas from your spirit will always push you out of your comfort zone. It will require you to be braver, more forgiving, more generous, and have more integrity than you could ever fathom.

Your spirit will encourage you to leap, to do it before you’re ready, and to apologize, even though you did nothing “wrong.” It will tell you to be happy for no reason, to let go, and to see the world (and your partner)through the eyes of innocence and love.

If your spirit wants to you leave a relationship, there will be a part of you that is rooted in fear (your ego). It might suggest that you won’t be able to meet someone else, that you wouldn’t know how to be on your own, or that you’re too old to start over.

Your ego will tell you to stay, but out of comfort and familiarity, which are synonyms for fear.

Whereas, if your spirit wants you to stay and work through your problems, your ego will resist compromising, listening to the other, and forgiving. It will tell you that it’s all the other person’s fault, that he’s an asshole. It will tell you that it’d be easier to be on your own, to give up the headache, and to get a clean break. This is the voice of fear that wants to withdraw and not work through problems. This is the voice of your ego, which has lost sight of love.

You’ll know the difference by the way you feel when you consider each decision. Imagine that you’ve actually left that person. Does it feel light? Do you feel aligned with your spirit? Or, do you miss that person? Is there a pang in your heart, telling you that there was a missed opportunity to experience love, to heal karmic issues, past trauma and evolve your consciousness. 

Here’s the key: If it’s braver to leave, then you must find the strength to leave. If it takes more courage to stay, then you don’t want to run away; you want to work through your issues.

Whatever the voice of fear is advocating, you must do the opposite. Think of it this way: Imagine someone who has been holding onto a grudge for a long time. Their mind wants to cling to the grievance, justifying their anger and sense of betrayal. They carry the heavy weight of the grudge. Their spirit wants them to forgive and move on. When you choose to follow the voice of sprit, you feel light and easy. You put down the weight you were carrying. That weight was blocking love, abundance, and opportunities for joy.

So, the question is: Is your relationship the weight you’re carrying, or are your fears and resistance to love the baggage that needs to be put down.

Only you know. The secret is to check in with your intuitive guidance. You don’t want to make this decision fresh after a fight, when you’re seething with anger. You don’t want to make this decision when you’re hormonal, pmsing, or when it feels like your life is falling apart. You want to sit quietly, focus on your breath, still your mind, and tune to the voice of your spirit, the calling of your heart. Oftentimes, you’ll be surprised what it has to tell you. It might show you all of the ways you withheld love in your relationship, or how your fear of love manifests through your partner’s actions. While the voice of your ego (fear) shouts, the voice of your spirit is a gentle whisper, so when making important life decisions, make sure you listen.

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Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve been on the spiritual path for 15 years, and this blog is where I share hacks, lessons I’ve learned & mindful dating advice. If you’d like help identifying your blocks to love, getting in touch with your intuitive guidance, or applying spiritual principles to your life, send me a message & we can set up a session.