When My Love Tank Feels Empty


My friend, Christina, has a gauge for how loved she is currently feeling (usually determined by whether she got to spend time with her boyfriend, talk on the phone with him, and have an ample amount of cuddle time. The gauge she uses is her love tank; some days, it's full, and other days, not so much.

After hearing this genius phrase, I have incorporated into my everyday vernacular; when I feel off, a little anxious, or not-so-pretty, and there are no other words, I catch myself saying I think my love tank is empty.

And it probably is. I probably miss my partner (I don't get to see him most weeknights), and I live alone. Don't get me wrong, I love my alone time, but sometimes, it is nice to have a little bit of company, or to have a mid-week snuggle. 

But here's where being new age can help: While my ego tells me that I need my boyfriend to fill my love tank, there's a part of me (my spirit) that knows the truth, which is that it's my job. It's my job to connect with the divine and feel whole and aligned regardless of how many hugs I get, or whether I'm going to bed alone for the fifth night in a row. 

I'm my own soulmate.

The emptiness I feel (and I have been feeling it lately) is not really emptiness; it's that I've been feeling disconnected from my spirit. I've been feeling lonely. I've been hard on myself. It's time to compliment myself and respond to the negative voice in my head with tender loving care, as if it were a small child.

It's time to stop beating myself up.

It's time to affirm that I am beautiful, loved, loving, and lovable - to declare that I am worthy; regardless of external circumstances or appearances, I am worthy. That's how I'll fill my own love tank. 

So tonight, I'm going to:

  • eat something delicious for dinner
  • watch my favorite show
  • put on some soft music and light a candle
  • write out all of the things I love about myself
  • refute every critical thought that pops into my head with something positive
  • do the simple things that I enjoy (read mindfulness magazines, doodle, and watch my favorite YouTubers)
  • rest

This is my recipe for self-love; I'm going to go easy on myself, move slower, and remind myself that I am perfect exactly as I am.