Why You Need a Spiritual Partner if You're on a Spiritual Path


I remember, once, I was on a date with an atheist. Our conversation turned to God, and he turned to me and said, "I think it's cute that you're so spiritual. It's nice."

Being spiritual was another bullet point on my dating profile, just above, I enjoy hiking and going to comedy shows.

I got to the point on my spiritual path (and in my dating life) where I had to make a choice: Was I going to continue dating men whose sole idea of mindfulness was taking a breath before yelling at the person who just cut them off in traffic, or was I going to commit myself so deeply to my spiritual path that I would settle for nothing less than someone who was my equal: someone who meditated, who could identify his egoic thoughts, who would watch Soul Sunday with me, who would take my hand as I prayed?

And so I asked the universe for a transcendent relationship. I asked for true spiritual partnership. I wanted a holy relationship, as described in the spiritual text A Course in Miracles; meaning, I a relationship in which partners remind each other of the truth when their fears come up; their goal is to love each other unconditionally, without scripts, without ego. That was the kind of love I wanted - a love that brought me closer to God.

And then I met someone who is as committed to this path as I am, and I began to understand the depth and breadth of what true spiritual partnership is. 

Here are just a few of the things that a true spiritual partnership offers:

1.You share a similar perspective of the world. My partner believes in the law of attraction. He believes that we are more than our bodies. He believes that our thoughts are powerful, and so he chooses his thoughts and words carefully. He is always positive and loving. He sets intentions and prays. I can't imagine being with a man with whom I couldn't share my gratitude list, or mention how I manifested a negative situation because I woke up grumpy. At the core of who I am, I believe that our external reality is just a reflection of our internal state, and so being with someone who shares that view means we can discuss life from the same lens. We understand each other.

2.You'll never communicate with anyone more. Every day is a chance to practice, to communicate, and to detach from our ego, instead, recognizing our fearful thoughts and becoming present to them. Just last weekend, I curled up on the couch, crying. I didn't want to share why I was upset, but my partner is so open, so willing to be vulnerable, that I couldn't withdraw. We share, but we do so in a loving, calm way, rather than from an accusatory, you-are-to-blame place.

3.Nothing will kill your ego faster than a spiritual partnership. I cannot hold onto this thought of Jessie - Jessie, with her long hair, and her fears about love, and her need to be perfect, her judgements, her egoic story - because I am so much more; I am pure consciousness being animated through the form of Jessie, and I never recognized this as quickly as when I manifested a spiritual partnership. Having someone who shares a similar state of consciousness as I do, it is nearly impossible to cling to any fearful thoughts or thoughts of identity without instantly recognizing their false nature. 

Having a partner who reminds me, on a daily basis, that I am an unlimited expression of love, who supports me, and who takes ownership of any fears that come up in him, openly sharing them for the purpose of shifting, is a great blessing. We are here to love each other unconditionally and to remove all of the blocks we've put in the way of that; and when I forget, he reminds me.

RelationshipsJessica Leon