Can You Date an Atheist?

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There was a time when I was actively dating, looking for a relationship, and I had to decide just how high up on my list of criteria to place spirituality. Should I only date men who identified as spiritual, like me? Should I date Christians? How about atheists? I was particular when it came to things like character, goals, and even physical appearance, but I was unclear as to whether I needed a man who was mindful and conscious, or if I could have a successful relationship with someone who didn’t believe in anything beyond what his eyes could see and ears could hear.

And so I dated atheists. Handsome, successful, and smooth atheists. I went to dinner with them, and we chatted about everything but spirituality. We discussed our professional lives, our goals, and our families. We stayed off the topic of God. If I brought it up, it either led to an argument, or a rapid dismissal, something along the lines of how sweet it was that I was so spiritual. Eventually, I had to decide just how big of a priority the spiritual life of a man would plan in my deciding to date him or not. I was faced with a decision: an atheist who would give me everything I thought I wanted - a family, a lovely house, and a committed relationship, or a man who was my spiritual equal, but who failed to pledge a deep longing for the traditional life of marriage and a house with a picket fence. I called my spiritual teacher at the time, and he said something that changed the course of my life: You have to decide how big of a role spirituality plays in your life. What did you come here for?

What did you come here for? Do you want a life that mirrors everyone else? A big house, a dog, and a kitchen with white cabinets? I thought I did. That was until I began to awaken. When that happened, all I wanted to talk about was my newfound discoveries: how I could detach from my thoughts; insights from books I read; new practices I was undertaking like meditating, or tapping, and how they were changing my life. It no longer felt as important to discuss taste in music, or dream cities to move to. I cared about the law of attraction, A Course in Miracles, and meditation.

While the world defines traditional romantic relationships as the union of two people who share similar goals and interests, the Universe cares more about who you’re dating in terms of your spiritual growth. The Universe wants to grow, stretch, and open your heart. The Universe wants you to live a bolder life, to stop judging others, and to heal your fears and traumas. The Universe wants you to be with someone who will quicken this process. Whether you enjoy the same type of cuisine as your partner isn’t top priority to the Universe. You incarnated on this earth for a reason. You have a purpose, a gift, and a Soul that exists beyond your body. Your soul is interested in the evolution of your consciousness. Your Soul wants you to awaken.

Here’s the bottom line: You need to decide how big of a priority your spiritual growth is in your life. If you’re interesting in the kind of life that most people have, in which they come together, discuss sports, music, and television, raise kids, save money for vacations, and retire together, then you might feel satisfied with someone who you connect to in the real-world, but who you can’t share your spiritual life with. On the other hand, if you feel called to grow spiritually, evolve your consciousness, and become more mindful, then you need to find a partner who can support you on your journey. You need to make it a priority to date men who are equally as spiritual, as that is the only way you can share your full self: your body, mind, and soul.

And here’s the biggest reason to find a spiritual partner: If you feel called to grow spiritually, then the Universe absolutely has a soulmate for you who will quicken your awakening and help you to transcend, heal past traumas, and step into your Highest Self, meaning, the highest-vibrating, most present and loving version of yourself. 

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The very fact that you desire a spiritual partner means that you have a soulmate who you can align with and meet. 

You feel the pull of that multiverse, that reality, calling to you. Desire indicates the means of manifestation. When your heart yearns for something, it’s because the Universe put that calling in your heart, and it has the resources to fulfill it; but before the Universe will give you what you want, you have to be willing to let go of the temptations your ego is facing, namely that sexy atheist with a great job, a nice smile, and pecs galore. You need to say no before the Universe will give you a yes. You have to declare that your spirituality is such a vital part of your life here on earth that you cannot imagine brushing it aside for the purpose of sharing a mortgage, chatting about chili recipes, and watching football games together.

However, maybe you’re not committed to the spiritual path. Perhaps you’re a dabbler. You bought a few crystals, saw a psychic once, and you’ve read The Secret. If that sums up your spiritual life, then you might be more than fulfilled by your relationship with an atheist. You might love conversing about food, wine, and travel, and the thought of sharing the latest Abraham Hicks video or Eckart Tolle book will never cross your mind. If that’s the case, then problem solved: Pursue your spiritual journey at leisure and have a beautiful life with someone who doesn’t have a connection to spirit.

Ultimately, the choice is yours. The intentions and priorities you set for your life are completely personal. Only you can truly know what calling God has placed on your heart, and only you have the power to manifest the vision you have for your life and relationship. Either way, you can have a beautiful life, but if becoming more conscious and aligned is one of your top, you’ll need a partner who shares that passion and who is willing to approach life from the perspective of spirit, not ego.