He's Not Playing Hard to Get.

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No one is hard to get. The truth is that you either want to be in a relationship, or you don’t. You like someone or you don’t. If you’re single and looking for a relationship, do yourself a favor, strike the word maybe from your vocabulary, because there’s simply no such thing.

If you think a man is playing hard to get, it’s because he doesn’t want a relationship, or at least, not with you. This might come off as harsh, but actually, it’s an idea that’s going to save you from a lot of future pain and heartache. I’m not saying that it’s easy to accept. I’m not even saying that it’s fair. I’m definitely not saying that you’re not an unbelievable catch. What I am saying is that he is just not your person, and the sooner you can let him go, the sooner you can meet the man who is your person; you’ll recognize him because he’ll reciprocate all of your feelings.

Now, this is not to say that he doesn’t find you attractive. I’m not suggesting that he doesn’t enjoy being with you, but rather, what I am suggesting is that he’s not sitting at home thinking about the long-term potential of your relationship. What he is doing is playing the field. What he is doing is telling himself that one day, he’ll be ready to settle down, but that day is not today. It’s not because you’re not good enough, it’s because he’s not emotionally ready, and the though of being in a committed relationship scares him to death. Stop taking it personally.

Here’s the key: Until you’re ready to let go of the bad boys, the playboys, and the players, you’re never going to meet your soulmate. You must be willing to say goodbye to the exes who text you late at night, the flirtatious coworkers who have girlfriends, and the men who ask you to come back to their place after the second date at Starbucks.

Every second you waste hoping that those men will come around is another second that you are declaring to the Universe that you’re not ready for your soulmate. You see, if you were ready, why would you waste your time with men who weren’t? If you were serious about finding love, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t tell yourself lies like, I’m just messing around with him until someone better comes along, or He can change, if I just give him enough time. Those lies are ruining your love life.

Instead, declare that you are ready for an emotionally mature and healthy relationship. Decide that you are worth it. Decide that maybe or sometimes isn’t good enough. Decide that you are too old to play games and too awesome to be one of many women who Mr. Player have, whenever he decides.

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Here’s the thing: He’s not playing hard to get. He’s just not the one.

Your soulmate will not be confused as to whether you’re the one when you two meet. You both will feel an intense connection that will be undeniable. There will be a sense of both coming home (like you’ve known each other forever) and also excitement. You don’t want to date someone who’s kinda-sorta into you. There’s nothing worse than being irrelevant. Don’t let someone make you feel that way. Instead, get to the place where you are so fed up with the bullshit excuses that you refuse to be with anyone who doesn’t recognize just how amazing you are. Decide that if a man is hard to get, you’re not interested in him. Declare that the man you wind up with will be so struck by your beauty, intelligence, and all-around awesomeness that it will take a pack of wolves to keep him from you.

Be brave enough to make this shift mentally: It’s a shift in confidence, as well as in perception. Whereas the mind wants to make what feels hard to get seem valuable (like an expensive purse), the Spirit knows that what’s hard to get is worthless. No man is worth chasing. Spirit knows that true love says yes. True love shows up. True love is mature. It’s ready. It knows what it wants. It takes charge. It doesn’t let a great thing slip through it’s fingers. Declare that he’s not playing hard to get; he’s just not the one, and let him go. Let him go so you can make room for the one to appear, because when he does, you’re going to have the most delicious relationship. There won’t be any questions, maybes, or talk of let-me-check-my-schedule. Instead, he’ll tell you that he’s never felt like this before. He’ll tell you that you’re the loveliest. He’ll tell you he can’t wait to see how your love story unfolds, and you’ll be so happy you gave up Mr. Hot-Cold. You won’t even remember his name.