Law of Attraction for Dummies: How to Manifest a Relationship


There’s a popular absurdist play by Samuel Beckett, entitled Waiting for Godot, in which two characters are sitting around, waiting for God. They wait and wait, and wait some more, but in the end, nothing happens. God never comes, and the plot is anticlimactic, to say the least. If you’re single and hoping for a relationship, it’s likely that you feel something similar to these characters: You’re waiting for some divine connection, a strike of lightening, or a destined moment that never arrives. Instead, you go on one bad date after another, and you suffer through endless small talk about how many siblings your date has, where he went to college, or his favorite travel destinations. All the while, you check the clock, eager to go home, and wait some more.

Well, if you’re tired of being patient and you’re ready to manifest a relationship, then you must understand how to utilize the law of attraction and shift your energy. While there are many teachers who throw around the term law of attraction and speak about it using esoteric, if not entirely-confusing language, it’s actually must simpler than you think. There was a time, before I met my partner, when I watched every video and read every book about the law of attraction, because I knew that I could manifest the love life I desired, and I was determined to find out how. Eventually, I did manifest my soulmate, and in turn, I’ve compiled a list of simple, practical ways you can shift your energy to manifest a relationship, sans the mumbo jumbo or need to go out on a full moon, in the rain, and recite incantations.

So, here are 3 easy and practical shifts you can make to manifest the relationship you desire.

1.Change your thoughts, and stop speaking negatively about dating and relationships.


When I was single, I had a friend who would constantly talk about how there were “no good men out there.” She’d go on and on about how the number of women to men living in NYC was disproportionate, and because of this, she was single. It’s easy to complain about the opposite sex, or lament over your age, weight, or present circumstances, as you feel certain that if only you were thinner, younger, and in a different city, then you’d be able to manifest a partner. You must stop thinking these thoughts. Any time you think a thought that is extreme, such as: All women are bitches, or All men just want sex, you are, quite literally, manifesting that reality.

Law of attraction states that you create your reality with your thoughts, feelings, actions, and overall energy. That which you manifest is a result of your energy (and that includes your thoughts and the statements you make). If you think thoughts of lack (there are no good men out there, or, I’ll never find love), the Universe responds by reflecting that back in your reality. You’ll manifest a shortage of dates, or a bunch of dates that suck. Instead, you must choose thoughts and make statements that come from a place of possibility, openness, and abundance. When you wake up, tell yourself: There are so many single people looking for love! There are so many opportunities to meet people, what, with so many dating apps and meet-up events! It’s amazing how easy it is to connect to people. Just look at how many people are in happy relationships right now!

Here’s the key: You might not believe these statements right away, but if you repeat them to yourself over and over again, eventually, you will believe them. When single friends begin to complain, walk away. Don’t allow negative comments from friends or family to get into your mind. When I was single, my father told me, “It’s a shame you got all of those tattoos. A lot of men don’t like tattooed women.” He wasn’t trying to make me feel bad, but he had a limiting belief that I’d have a hard time finding a parter because I have tattoos. As it turns out, my partner loves my tattoos, and even before we met, he had a vision that he’d meet a tattooed woman who lived in Brooklyn.

Choose thoughts that are positive and that affirm that you are ready to meet your ideal partner. Speak words that come from a place of abundance and gratitude. This is a major key to manifesting a relationship.

2.Shift your feelings.


It’s Saturday night, and you’re home alone (or with your cat), eating too much chocolate and too many bowls of ice cream. You’re stewing in sadness, as you let your mind go on a tangent about how everyone else in the world is either with a loved one, or out on a hot date, doing something more exciting than you. You feel hopeless, and you can’t even imagine getting excited about the prospect of what’s on the horizon for you, because your current situation sucks so much that it feels impossible to feel anything other than shitty.

Well, if you stay in that energy, your reality will never change. Instead, if your’e determined to manifest a relationship, you must do whatever it takes to feel better. You must figure out what really makes you happy and do those things as much as you possibly can. A few years ago, I worked with a woman who was tired of dating and looking for Mr. Right. She decided to put a hold on using dating apps, and instead, she decided she’d check some items off her bucket list and shift her focus to simply being happy. She signed up for salsa classes and joined a weekly improv class. As it turns out, the man she would later marry attended those salsa classes. They quickly became friends, and later, their relationship turned romantic.

Here’s the key: She didn’t meet her soulmate, sitting at home in her pajamas, weeping. She chose to focus on what brought her joy, and as soon as she did, she met her partner (who was focused on what brought him joy). They were a perfect match for each other, because they took responsibility for their emotional state, and both of them pursued what made them happy. As it turns out, they both enjoyed dancing, and they later planned a fancy salsa number to perform at their wedding.

3.Take actions that align with your new mindset.


As you shift your thoughts and feelings, you’ll naturally begin to act from a place of joy and wholeness. You’ll no longer behave in ways that are desperate, as if you need to fill a whole with a man or woman. If you’ve been single for awhile, or if you really want a relationship, it’s easy to act in a way that actually repulses men, or women. Because you want a partner so bad, you’ll go out of of your way for your date. You’ll text too much. You’ll get way too excited about someone you’ve only known for three days.

Instead, consider how the law of attraction works and act accordingly. Law of attraction states that like attracts like. If you feel like you are missing something, if you feel a tinge of pain, because you are single, you will act out of fear (as a way of overcompensating for what you are missing), and these actions will not bring you a partner. However, if you feel satisfied and whole, if you can actually sit with the thought of the partner you will manifest and revel in how much joy just the thought brings you (acting as if he is already here), then you will take actions from a place of self-love and respect.

I remember the day I met my partner, Tim. That very night, I had a date set up with another guy, who, decided that it would be best for him if I commuted one hour (each way) to meet him for a drink. He did not seem inclined to come to my neighborhood, and he didn’t even suggest meeting in the middle somewhere. At this point, I was committed to self-love, and I felt so happy with my life (whether i met a partner or not) that I decided I didn’t need to travel two hours for a date. I didn’t want to settle for a lazy bum, because I knew the Universe had an amazing partner for me. Tim was willing to drive to my neighborhood, and he was so willing to do whatever I wanted on our date, which revealed his character.

When you really believe that you are worth it, and the Universe has your perfect match ready for you, you don’t need to act out of desperation. You don’t need to reply to that text from your ex. You don’t need to say yes that person who won’t treat you right.

Change your actions so that they align with your new mindset. Act from a place of surety, because you are so confident that you’re going to meet your perfect match any second. You can already feel what it’s like to be in your dream relationship. You can visualize it and experience it as if it were already manifested.

So, if you're tired of waiting for love, shift your thoughts, feelings, and actions to manifest the relationship your heart desires. At first, making these changes can feel uncomfortable, because you’ve gotten used to complaining, or behaving desperately. It takes energy and effort to make a concerted change in any area of your life, but trust me, it’s worth it. If you want to create a new reality, then you must be willing to think new thoughts, feel new emotions, and take actions that are in alignment with these thoughts and feelings. With just a little bit of time and practice, you’ll get so used to focusing on the positive and feeling excited about all of the possibilities that are available to you, that you won’t even have to consciously make these changes. You’ll just step into a new version of yourself, a new reality, one where there’s no other choice but to manifest your dream partner, because he’s just as positive, inspired, and excited as you.