A Radical Way to Reinvent Your Love Life

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Admit it: Your love life sucks. You’ve been dating the same emotionally reticent jerks who blow you off, are dishonest, or disinterested. You’ve had the same online dating profile since 2014, and you reply to late night texts from your ex, because you figure, What the hell? There’s no harm in it. When you walk down the street and see couples holding hands, or making out, you vomit a little in your mouth.

I get it. I’ve sang your tune. When I was single and embarking on what I can only describe as a furious dating rampage, I spent many nights, post-date, wondering why I was attracting crazies, duds, or weirdos, until finally, I was ready to try something new. I decided that I’d do absolutely anything to manifest an emotionally healthy partnership that rocked my world. If you’re ready to ditch your current dating drama and reinvent your love life, I’m going to give you a radical strategy that you have to try. If you’re looking for a way to get completely different results in your romantic life, and you’re ready to start this minute, then this is the strategy for you.

Pick a relationship role model. By this, I mean, choose a couple who you think of as happy, communicative, and emotionally healthy. It could be a couple who you know presently, a couple you used to know, or even a couple that’s famous. Think about the sort of relationship you’d like to have; perhaps you have a partner who’s sweet, attentive, and responsible. You might want to imagine Chip and Joanna Gaines. You might argue that we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but that’s so not the point. The point is to get a clear image of the sort of relationship they have, and more specifically, the decisions they had to make to get to where they are in their relationship. For example, Joanna might have looked at kinda-nerdy but cute Chip and wondered if God had a stud with a six-pack in store for her, but she had the wisdom to look at a man’s character over his physique, which is one reason why she manifested a happy relationship.

Once you have your relationship role model in mind, make every decision in your romantic life by asking yourself the following question: What would he/she do? 

I’m going to stick with Joanna Gaines as an example. When you’re deciding what to write in your online dating profile, ask yourself: What would Joanna write? When you’re not sure if you should go on a second date, ask: Would Joanna give this guy another chance? When you’re unclear about if you should be physically intimate, or wait, ask: Would Joanna wait? 

Get a clear image of the person who you look up to as far as their love love goes and emulate them. Stop doing what you want to do. It’s your wants and impulses that led to a string of bad dates and too many Friday nights home with your mom. Instead, be willing to change absolutely everything. Decide that you’ll change what you say, where you go, and who you’ll date. This might mean that you go out with someone who’s shorter than you might prefer, or you have to stop replying to messages from that gorgeous guy who you know is not looking for a relationship.

Here’s the key: When you’re willing to radically change how you show up in dating, you will manifest different outcomes. If you’re stuck in a dating rut, falling into the same negative patterns and behaviors over and over again, you’ll never attract something different. In order to have a different result, you must be willing to try something new.

So, get clear about a happy and healthy relationship and ask your relationship role model what you should do at every step in your dating game. And don’t forget to listen when your intuitive voice tells you what that person would do! If the answer is to let go, have the strength to let go. If the answer is to put on a nice outfit and join a group, or go to an event, then do it, even if your’e scared, or embarrassed. The more you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone and change, the more new energy you will invite into your life, and that means dating the sort of people you’ve never dated and having the sort of relationship you’ve never had. Try it. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.