If You're Lonely During the Holiday Season

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While the holiday season can be a time of twinkling lights, cozy moments, and festivities, it can also serve as a reminder that you’re single, while friends and loved ones send holiday cards with family portraits, or you realize that instead of kissing someone fabulous on New Year’s eve, you’ll have only your mom, or your pug to smooch. It can be hard to see other couples, and it’s easy to experience feelings of jealousy, or even wonder if there’s something you’ve done wrong that will explain why everyone around you is one half of a couple, but you’re alone. If you’re feeling lonely, or even depressed, know that it is possible to shift your mindset and experience the joy of the holidays, even if it’s just your entire social circle is comprised of you and your cat Whiskers.

1.Celebrate the love in your life.

It’s easy to forget the love that is present in your life when you’re focused on not having a relationship. When you complain about being single (whether it’s aloud or in your mind), you resonate with an energy in lack, meaning, you’re basically saying to the Universe that the love you have is not sufficient. I get that it can be hard to shift your focus from not having a partner to celebrating the love that you do have (friends, family, coworkers, etc.), but this is a key change that you must make with regards to where you place your attention if you want to have a peaceful holiday season. Moreover, when you place all of your attention on what’s missing in your life, you’re more likely to become depressed, or negative. Instead, commit to celebrating the people who love you. When you wake up in the morning, thank God for your parents, siblings, and friends. Get specific and tell God what you appreciate about each person. Express gratitude for the people who do love you, and you’ll manifest even more love in your life.

2.Cultivate a generosity of spirit.

The true meaning of the holidays is to give back. It’s not about the presents you receive, or what God gives you (such as a boyfriend, or girlfriend). Rather, it’s about recognizing what you do have and cultivating a generous spirit so that you can give back. You’d be amazed at the joy you can feel by doing nice acts for others. It could be as simple as making lunch for a friend at work, or buying someone a cup of coffee. You can ship someone you love a sweet treat. I love to send these truffles, which only cost $6 and can really show your friends and family how grateful you are for them.

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3.Create a life that you love.

One reason wanting a relationship is because you think your life will go from boring to awesome over night. This is the furthest thing from the truth. If you’re not exciting by your current life, sans partner, then: a)You’re going to attract a partner who’s equally as disenchanted with his life as you, and b)You’re going to be just as bored when you’re in a relationship.

It’s easy to think that if you only had a relationship, it’d fix all of your problems. The truth is, it’s your job to create a life that you love, not the job of your partner, or anyone else for that matter.

So if you’re stuck in a rut, or can’t find joy, or meaning in your life, then work on yourself. Take classes, either locally, or online. Udemy offers an array of affordable classes. Find a new hobby, or join a social group that makes you step out of your comfort zone, such as one that goes hiking, or does salsa dancing. If you don’t like your job, or your circle of friends, make steps to make changes, or meet new people. Here’s the key: Your life needs to be amazing, independent of whether you’re single. Once you create a life that you love, you will manifest a partner, because people are attracted to others who have great friends, interesting passions, and are knowledgeable about things. No one wants to go on a date with someone who is mildly depressed, doesn’t like his job, and has no hobbies.