If You're Lonely on Valentine's Day


We’re all set up to fail on Valentine’s Day. Those of us  in a relationship are supposed to make a big fuss, buy large heart-shaped boxes of candy, and put on a show. Those of us who are single are told to love ourselves, which can feel like a slap in the face when our married friends are gushing over their romantic dinners and gestures of sentimentality; and the worse, by far: those of us who have only been dating someone for a short while, whose relationship falls into the gray zone - not yet a couple, but not fresh enough to ignore the holiday altogether - have to play the guessing game of will our partner buy us a gift, acknowledge the day, or fail to call altogether, faking a busy schedule or a migraine.

The only real winners are old couples, who could care less about February 14th.

I’ve spent a few Valentine’s Days alone, and some of those included times that I was involved with someone, and I’m here to tell you if you’re lonely on Valentine’s Day, there’s one important thing to remember: it is for your highest good. If you needed a partner to fulfill your destiny at this very moment, the Universe would bring you one; if you needed a different partner, the Universe would see to that, too. However, right now, there are lessons to learn, attributes to cultivate, and blocks to dissolve, all of which can best be done alone. You are preparing for your soulmate. Think of this time as practice before the game. When  you are ready, you will meet the perfect person.

Trust in divine timing.

Perhaps you go on one bad date after another, and it feels like you meet only losers. Your lesson might be to value yourself more and not compromise what you deserve in a relationship. Perhaps you attract a string of emotionally reticent men, because you have a deep, unconscious fear of commitment. Your lesson might be to uncover the blocks you have to love by cultivating a spiritual practice and uprooting unconscious fears. You might want to study a text such as A Course in Miracles and meditate.

Whatever your lesson is, this is your time to learn and expand your consciousness. It is not the time to pray for a perfect partner, but rather, to work on yourself - to value and respect yourself, your body, and your worth so much that when someone terrific does show us, you don’t sabotage it with a lack of self-worth. In A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson says, “The most enlightened prayer isn’t ‘Dear God, send me someone wonderful,’ but, ‘Dear God, help me realize that I am someone wonderful.’”

It is only when you are content being alone because you feel so content and fulfilled that the Universe will send you a partner. Focus on your state of being, shifting your limiting beliefs about relationships, love, and the opposite sex. Repeat affirmations. Make it a priority to love your body. Make new friends, and travel to new places. Now is the time. Trust that the Universe is orchestrating your relationships (and life), and when you are ready, you will meet your perfect partner. Don’t be lonely. Get ready.