How to Use the Law of Detachment to Manifest a Relationship


If you want to manifest a relationship using the law of attraction, but you find that despite the gigantic vision board sitting in your hallway, the piles of books on metaphysics and energy, and the time you spend visualizing your future partner’s gorgeous face and shared love for the same cuisine and music as you, you just can’t seem to make it happen, then you’re missing one of the biggest keys.

Yes, you need to have a clear vision of what you want (this is why it’s important that you go on all of those crummy dates, because they’ll help you to narrow in on the qualities of a partner that would really light you up), and yes, it’s powerful to hold a vision of your desired partner and relationship, as your subconscious mind cannot discern between imagination and reality. Visualization can help you to believe that you have something, and it can shift your energetic state if it was previously one of lack.

All that being said, those steps set you up for success, but they won’t work unless you learn about (and practice) the law of detachment, which states that if you need something, if you are desperate for something, you will energetically repulse it.

You cannot manifest that which you need in order to be happy.

The same is true for manifesting money, opportunities, or any divine connection. If you cling to the idea that you’ll be happy when you get fill-in-the-blank, the universe will never bring it to you. You must be so happy without the manifestation that the manifestation is besides the point.

Putting the Law of Detachment Into Practice

So, how do you put the law of detachment into practice? Here’s the key: After you get high on the idea of how delicious your relationship is going to be as you’re visualizing the depth of the connection you’re going to have, feeling it in your body, letting your cells flood and tingle with the idea of how stellar your partner is going to be, you want to commit to not needing actual person. You get so excited when you’re by yourself, feeling the person as if they are already there, that it no longer matters whether they show up. 

You create a life that is so awesome that it no longer matters whether you’re single. You let go of the idea that your life is going to get better when you’re one-half of a couple.

You commit to being happy.

At first, when you tell yourself that you don’t need a partner, you might not actually believe it. It might feel like you’re lying to yourself, because, deep down, you yearn for a partner. There’s a part of you that’s sad when you go out with your friends who are all in relationships, regaling you with stories of romantic vacations and sweet gestures. It’s likely that this sort of chatter might make you feel like you want to throw up in your mouth.


Just keep lightening your vibration around relationships. Keep delighting in all of the amazing things you have going on in your life. Take on new hobbies. Learn new skills. Commit to making a bookcase, traveling somewhere new, or learn how to make the perfect beef bourguignon. When you feel good, imagine the relationship that’s coming, but spend time visualizing only when it feels blissful; if you feel a tinge of loneliness coming on, stop visualizing, and go do something you enjoy.

Manifesting is a dance of deciding and then letting go. You decide that it would be lovely to own a new car, adopt a labradoodle,  or move to the southwest, and then you let it go. You detach. You commit to being happy even if those things never come; they’re just fun thoughts to play with, possible multiverses to dream about. If you do this, you’ll find yourself in a cafe one day, sitting across from your soulmate, and you’ll smile because when you really wanted to meet this person, they never showed up, but as soon as you decided it was okay if they never came, they walked right into your life, and as it turns out, they’re lovelier than you ever pictured or could have imagined. For more secrets to the law of detachment, check out the video I shot with my partner Tim: How to Use the Law of Detachment to Manifest a Relationship. Also, be sure to read 10 Things You Do That Keep Love Away.



Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve been on the spiritual path for 15 years, and this blog is where I share hacks, lessons I’ve learned & mindful dating advice. I believe you can be spiritual and a badass. I believe you can live boldly, pursue your passions, & love fully. If you’d like to work with me, send me a message.