Cure for the Chronically Single

If you feel stuck in your dating life, and you haven’t been in a relationship since Prince was alive, then you suffer from what I lovingly call chronic single-itis.

Here are the symptoms:

  • You say you’re “picky,” and so even though you go on first or second dates, you end it before things get serious.

  • You haven’t been on a date in over six months, and you refuse to try online dating.

  • You’re comfortable with your roommate, who’s also single, and you have no desire for change.

  • The last time you had a boyfriend, MC Hammer was cool.

If you want to manifest a partner, but you feel like you’ve been stuck living in single town for far too long, then it’s time to move out and manifest a honey, honey! Here are 5 ways you can do it:

#1 Spend time with people in relationships.

Oftentimes, if you’re single, you’ve amassed a friend group replete with fell singles, and you spend Friday or Saturday nights out dancing, or at bars. It’s not uncommon to see groups of single women, or single men, clustered together about the dance floor, or eying the room during Sunday brunch. And what do you talk about when you’re with other single people? Well, you talk about single life: how that guy turned out to be a dud, or how there are no cute options at the restaurant that’s serving you your eggs benedict. 

You go on dates and meet people, only to discuss your questions and feelings with other single people (who are not manifesting relationships), and they tell you to ditch that guy, or they say that if you don’t experience “chemistry,” it’s hopeless. They give you the same advice they would give themselves, and so a bunch of single people sit around, discussing relationships, even though none of them are currently involved. 

That would be like a bunch of poor people sitting around giving each other financial advice. It’s ludicrous.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you should breakup with your single friends. That would be extreme, however, I do encourage you to spend time with friends who are in relationships, and even go out with couples. When you want to share your dating stories and get advice, pick someone who is in an emotionally healthy relationship. Don’t ask your best friend Shiela, who hasn’t had a boyfriend for two years, if you should go on a second date with Max from the office. 

#2 Make yourself slightly uncomfortable.

If you’ve been single for a while, and you haven’t lived with a partner in over a year, it’s likely that you’ve become comfortable with a certain routine. You have breakfast at a certain time; you keep your bathroom towels rolled up neatly, like Vienna sausages, and part of you enjoys the way you keep your apartment just so, or how you allocate Sunday evenings to face masks and margaritas. 

Here’s the thing: Being in a relationship is going to force you to step outside of your comfort zone. Relationships work best when two people aren’t clinging to their ways of doing things. A neat freak falls for a slob, or a vegan winds up in a relationship with a man who blogs about the paleo diet. There are a million compromises that need to be made when you enter into a relationship. If you’re the sort of person who has a fixed mindset, you’re not going to manifest a relationship, because you wouldn’t be able to handle the change when it arrived. 

You want to become energetically flexible; you want to embody the vibration of water (opposed to wood, or rock). In order to manifest love, you must be open and pliable, ready to be transformed by your new relationship, because the purpose of all relationships is to evolve our consciousness; the more open and loose you are, the more you’ll welcome love into your life.

#3 Visualize and embody your relationship.

The mind is powerful, and it’s always creating. Spend time visualizing your perfect match. Sit quietly, and after spending five to ten minutes meditating, imagine what it feels like to be with your partner. Imagine what their skin feels like, what it feels like to cuddle, and how nice it is to enjoy pancakes and orange juice together on Sunday mornings.

Feel the feelings of being in a relationship at least once a day. Ideally, you want to visualize and embody the feeling of being in a relationship for ten minutes in the morning and the five to ten minutes right before you go to bed. This is when your subconscious mind is most receptive to being reprogrammed. 

Here’s the key: You’ve become so accustomed to the vibration of being on your own that you can’t even fathom being in a partnership, so you need to shift it. You need to spend time feeling the energy of being in a relationship.

#4 Release your limiting beliefs.

It’s easy to acquire a long list of limiting beliefs about love (especially if you’re spending your free time around other singles), so you want to spend time identifying those limiting beliefs, and then releasing them. A limiting belief is any thought you hold that puts boundaries on what the Universe can bring you. For example, if you believe “there are no good men over forty,” then you’ll never manifest a relationship with a “good man” over forty. The Universe can only bring you that which you believe is possible, so be sure to rid yourself of limiting ideas, such as “all men are fill-in-the-blank,” or “It’s hard to fill-in-the-blank.”

For help on how to identify your limiting beliefs and blocks to love, contact me to set up a dating coaching session.

#5 Open your heart.


If you’ve been chronically single, it’s likely that you’ve built up walls around your heart to serve as protection. It’s natural to develop defenses, as most people have experienced, or witnessed painful situations. As years pass, walls get bigger, and before you know it, you can’t remember the last time you were vulnerable, or trusted another person enough to let him in. 

If you’ve been chronically single, you need to be willing to let down these walls. For the best secrets about how to let love in, check out How to Get Over Your Fear of Commitment and How to Take the Limits Off Your Love Life.

Don’t fall into the pattern of being on your own, keeping everyone’s at arm’s length with excuses like, “There’s just no good men out there!” or “Not everyone has a soulmate.” Reclaim your love life by following these five steps, and you can manifest a relationship quicker than you could ever imagine. With just a few energetic shifts and a desire to attract a partner, you’ll find that your love life can transform for the better, and that it’s easier to manifest a relationship than you think.



Hi, I’m Jessie! I’m a dating coach and spiritual teacher, and I’d love to work with you! If you want to manifest your soulmate, heal your blocks to love, or learn how to stick to a spiritual practice, send me a message.