How to be Blissfully Single this Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day can feel tragic if you’re single and lonely, because it’s a made-up “holiday” that tells of a single narrative: the happy couple that delights in the exchange of flowers and chocolates. It doesn’t celebrate self-love, or the cultivation of a connection with spirit that occurs when you’re unattached and discovering who you truly are on a soul level. While it can be exceptionally beautiful to be one-half of a partnership and express that love (hopefully every day, not just one day a year), it’s also possible to be blissfully happy if you’re single if you shift your mindset and are committed to self love. Here are 5 ways you can be so blissfully single this Valentine’s day that you won’t feel an ounce of loneliness on this Hallmark holiday.

1.Accept this as a season to work on yourself.

It takes an extraordinary amount of inner-work to prepare yourself for connecting with your soulmate. Here’s the thing: You will meet your soulmate when you’ve opened your heart, recognized your blocks to love, and cultivated not only a deep sense of self-love, but also a connection with your spirit. While you’re preparing to meet your soulmate, they’re going on the same journey. This is because when you both meet, you’ll be two aligned and whole people who know how to love unconditionally. If you’ve got unhealed traumas, limiting beliefs, and a tough inner-critic whispering about how you need to lose weight, get a new hairdo, and clear up your aces, then you’re not ready to meet a partner. If you were to meet a partner without cultivating a deep sense of self-love, you would either unconsciously sabotage the relationship, or you would attract someone equally as unready for partnership.

There will be a time when you would have done the inner-work: the meditation, prayer, and inquiry work required for you to be open and receptive to a profound soulmate love. If your’e single, that just means that you have an opportunity to dissolve blocks, open your heart, and release limiting beliefs. Accept that this is a time to work on yourself and be willing to actually do the work. Are you willing to wake up early to meditate? To repeat affirmations every day? To turn off the television to read a book on self-love? Use this time to focus on yourself. It’s a gift, and it’s necessary, because once you meet your soulmate, you’re going to focus on your own spiritual journey, as well as the relationship. Think of this as prep time and luxuriate in it.

2.Fully embrace self-love.

Forget the narrative that it’s shameful to be single. Everyone is on their own journey, and everyone has their own path to walk. There are people who are in a relationship and are more lonely than you. There are people who are single and are happier than their married friends. Be wiling to embrace loving yourself. Massage your arms and legs with essential oils. Buy yourself beautiful pajamas. Fill your house with peonies. Learn how to cook a decadent desert. Write yourself a love letter. Let yourself be filled with a deep sense of love and appreciation for all that you do. Tell yourself that you are kind, beautiful, and giving. Tell yourself that you have a gorgeous smile, that you are talented, and that you are a light in this world. When you fully embrace self-love, you will attract a partner who mirrors that love. All of a sudden, the quality of the people you meet will increase. You’ll manifest people who look at you with stars in their eyes, and it’s because they’re reflecting back the deep love that you feel for yourself.

3.Deepen your connection to your spirit.

The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship between you and God/the Universe. When you sit in meditation and prayer, you open up to connecting to the divine. When you put down your phone and speak a prayer, you invite all of non-physical to make their presence known in your life. There is an overwhelming sense of love that you can feel when you truly connect to the divine. Oftentimes, these experiences are referred to as moments of transcendence: when you feel a love that seems as if it’s bursting through your chest. Get in touch with this love - the love of the Universe, because it’s a well that will never run dry. When you deepen your connection to your spirit and to the divine, you invite an infinite and unconditional love that you can feel in every moment. Be willing to rejoice in the divine. Open up to prayer and meditation, even if it seems like a silly idea. At first, you might not experience anything, but give it some time, and you’ll see how you can experience transcendental love.

Be sure to read 5 Spiritual Hacks that Will Change Your Life.

4.Release society’s single narrative about love.

Our society tells the story of a single woman who is saved by a Prince Charming who shows up on a horse (and then they live happily ever after). Love comes in all shapes and forms, and it hardly ever fits this narrative. Stop comparing your life to what you see in the movies, or “reality” television. Just like you should stop comparing yourself to the airbrushed models you see on magazine covers, you should also be willing to look at your romantic journey as a unique expression of your soul, one that doesn’t have to fit the narrative the world tells. 

5.Extend love.

If you want to feel the fullness of love, you want to extend it, or give it. Stop waiting for someone to show up at your door with an armful of pink roses and chocolates. Instead, wake up every morning and ask yourself: How can I step into the most loving version of myself today? What can I do to extend love in this world? That might mean sending your aunt a sweet text, or buying your mom a box of delicious truffles. After asking the Universe for guidance on how to extend love, you might get an intuitive nudge to invite your best friend out for pizza, or send a thank you text to your uncle who’s always there for you. Be willing to extend love when you most feel like you’re not receiving love, and watch your world transform. You live a life filled with love, and there are so many people (right now!) who love you. Say thank you. Appreciate them. Love them. Extend love like it’s overflowing from your soul. Extend love like it’s your sole job every day. You are an expression of the divine. You are the fullness of love expressing itself as a human for a brief moment in the history of humanity. Enjoy it! Delight in your ability to bring a smile to someone’s face. Celebrate the love that you are, and open up to having others celebrate that love with you.

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Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve been on the spiritual path for 15 years, and this blog is where I share hacks, lessons I’ve learned & mindful dating advice. I believe you can be spiritual and a badass. I believe you can live boldly, pursue your passions, & love fully. If you’d like to work with me, send me a message.