Do You Have Blocks to Love?

If you want to manifest a relationship, there’s nothing that you need to do, not exactly, but there are things you need to release, and these are the blocks you have that keep you from attracting a partner. How do you know if you have blocks to love? Simple: You say you want a relationship, but you find yourself single, or caught up in a string of short-term dating adventures that never seem to culminate into anything meaningful.

The world will teach you that you need to add things to yourself to attract love: a better wardrobe, a new gym membership, or new adventurous hobbies that you can describe in great detail on your first date in order to come off as impressive. The world will teach you that there are rules, such as how to respond to messages, or timeframes for when you should and shouldn’t have sex, and if only you knew these rules, studied them, and practiced them diligently, then, then you would finally find love.

Bullshit.

We live in a vibrational universe. You manifest (or repel) love dependent on your vibration. If you’re telling yourself that you’re single, because you need to lose ten pounds, you don’t have time to date, or all men suck, well, cut the crap, you’re wrong.

If you claim you want a relationship, but you’re chronically single, or attracting jerks, then you have blocks to love-definitely one, but there are probably a couple just hanging out in your subconscious mind, waiting for you to recognize your resistance to the very thing you claim to want.

What are blocks to love?

Your parents had a dysfunctional relationship. On a subconscious level, you believe that love is synonymous with fighting. You grew up feeling insecure, unworthy, or not fully loved. On a subconscious level, you don’t believe you deserve a loving relationship. You don’t have the actual capacity to receive love, even if it does show up. You’ve been deeply hurt in the past. On a subconscious level, you are afraid that it will happen again, and so you put up walls-energetic walls meant to protect you from pain-but all they do is keep people out.

Yesterday, my partner Tim and I spent time with one of my close friends, who has been single for several years now. She’s beautiful, smart, and says she wants a relationship. There’s absolutely no reason why any man shouldn’t want to be with her, except for one simple fact: She has subconscious blocks to love that make her defensive.

How can I tell? When she talks to men, rather than approaching them with a soft, feminine energy, her body is stiff, and she asks questions as if she’s interviewing them for an office position. When Tim suggested that she try online dating, she became defensive, claiming that the man is going to need to do all of the work, if he wants to be with her, and she’s not going to spend time making a profile, or responding to messages. She said she’s been through it in the past, and she’s not looking to go through the same pain again.

Blocks.

I get it. You’ve been hurt. Your ex was an asshole. He lied. He cheated. You witnessed dysfunction, abuse, or trauma as a child. It sucks, I know. I’m not suggesting that the world is filled with conscious people who know how to love. What I am saying is that most people are, in fact, unconscious, and they operate out of dysfunctional programming, repeating negative patterns that played out in their families. If you want to manifest an emotionally healthy relationship, you need to recognize your blocks and be willing to release them. While there are people who have no clue how to give you the love you deserve, there’s also a huge pool of people-men and women, gay and straight-who know how to show up in a relationship. If you want to find them, you need to let down your walls; you need to release your fears.

Whats the first step?

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If you have blocks that you need to release, the first step is to commit to a spiritual, or mindfulness practice. Not everyone has a connection with God, or the universe (I use the terms interchangeably); that being said, you can still journey inward and see what beliefs you hold subconsciously that’s keeping love from you, even if you don’t believe in a higher power. 

First. you must be willing to shift your thoughts. Before you can get glimpses of what’s in your subconscious mind (this is the kind of work psychotherapists, or hypnotists do), you must create space consciously. You have to stop thinking negative, fearful thoughts, and instead, fill your mind with thoughts that are loving and in alignment with your spirit.

Think of it this way: If you wake up in the morning, complain about the weather, your crummy job, and the fact that you believe there are no good men out there, what is the law of attraction going to bring you? More negative thoughts? Yes. More negative people? Yes. More subconscious fears that you’re reaffirming every time you judge, complain, or think people are out to get you. Absolutely.

So, begin by guarding your mind. Every time a negative thought arises in your mind, repeat the following mantra: I choose peace over this.

It’s stupidly simple, I know, but it works. Don’t let your mind wander. Instead, fill it with loving thoughts. Read articles that affirm your ability to manifest love. Check out:

Read books that affirm that which you want to manifest. Check out Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer, or A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.

After a while, your conscious mind will begin to shift. You may decide to commit to a meditation practice. You’ll find that your inner-talk has shifted from negative and critical to positive and hopeful. It’s only when this happens that you can begin to journey further, to dig under the surface. First, you tackle your conscious mind, and then, you can see what’s really blocking you on a subconscious level. Then, when you sit to meditate, you will find that fears rise to the surface. All of a sudden, you burst into tears from something that happened ten years ago. All of a sudden, you’re able to finally process a great pain you’ve been carrying. All of a sudden, a light goes on. This is the light of consciousness.

So, if you’re chronically single, or caught in a dating rut, then you have blocks that you need to release. Start by shifting your conscious thoughts and looking inward. To quicken the process, it can be helpful to work with a dating coach. To set up a session with me, click here. With just a little bit of willingness, you can become aware of your blocks, and when you let them go, your dating life will flourish. You will receive more love than you ever thought possible.


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Hi, I’m Jessie! I’ve been on the spiritual path for 15 years, and this blog is where I share mindful dating advice, thoughts on awakening & lessons I’ve learned. If you’re interested in setting up a coaching session (more about that here) send me a message.